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Ending the silence

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It's been a really long time since I've written- much has happened- more than I ever could have predicted. In a nutshell, I met a wonderful man, and we are now engaged, and moved into our dream home. My niece has been located, across the country, adopted by a loving family. The circumstances are painful- too much to go into right now. But I am so very thankful that she is safe and loved by a very special family, and that I have the opportunity to be her aunt again. Here is the letter I wrote her, below. I am stressed-out by my job on a daily basis, but so very thankful for it, and for the friends and family that I have. There are things that I'd like to change about my life, but I am continually learning how good I have it, compared to others, and it humbles me- I feel so undeserving.

January 19th, 2008

Dearest Rosella,
You may not remember me, but I remember you-- how could I possibly forget? I was there on June 11th, 1998, when a very special little girl was born. It was you! And from that moment on, I looked at the world very differently because you were a part of it. I am your Aunt Meredith, but you used to call me Mer, just like everyone else.
I know that it has been a very long time since you saw me or talked to me, and I apologize—until very recently, I didn’t know where you were. A lot of things have happened to both of us since the last time we saw each other—some very good and some very bad. I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to be there and protect you from the bad things that happened in your life. But I am so very happy that you have been adopted by Mike and Sarah and their four kids—you are so lucky to be surrounded by so many people that love and care for you! And you deserve it because you are very special. My dreams have come true to hear that you are in a happy and healthy home. I just wanted to let you know that there is at least one more person, although you may not know it, who lives far away but still loves you very much, and that’s your Aunt Mer.
A lot of time has passed, but I would love to get to know you again, not as the little girl I once knew, but as the beautiful young lady you have become. I have sent an album of pictures of you as a baby and a little girl—I hope you enjoy them—I have so many stories I’d love to tell you about yourself as a baby and a little girl. I know that I look at those pictures and remember those times often— I miss you very much. Not a day has gone by since I saw you last that I haven’t thought about you, missed you, or prayed for you.
I love you very much!

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